This Too Shall Pass, Just Hold On

This too shall pass, just hold on, those are the words I received from the Lord, March 2006. I was in the middle of Lent, saying a prayer, when the Lord told me He was about to take me through several storms. During these storms, He said I would lose everything but my home. The Lord said I would struggle with my home because I willfully disobeyed His instructions. I thought I heard Him incorrectly, but as time passed and things started to fall apart in my life, I knew I heard His words correctly.

My relationship started having some serious issues, but I fought to save it until I finally couldn’t take the drama any longer. I fell behind on my car note and voluntarily surrendered my 2003 Nissan Altima back to the dealer. So from March 2006 to now, I have had 4 cars. Then there was the employment situation, I was terminated. Thankfully I obtained a temporary job 3 days later. By the end of the year I was working 3 jobs and going to school. My house has flooded and has been hit by lightening. Every utility was turned off at one time or another. We had to piece together meals.

Those were just some of the things that were occurring in my life. But the biggest was my mortgage, each month I got further and further behind. Thanks to Countrywide for racking up all the miscellaneous fees and applying majority of my payments towards the fees. Each modification put me further behind instead of helping me to get caught up. I spent one year paying double payments and I still remained behind.

Then President Obama started initiating several Making Homes Affordable programs. One particular program, I read about on the DC Sistagirls group page. So I called Bank of America, which bought out Countrywide, and inquired about the possibility of me being eligible. That call was last year, but on Monday, July 30, my acceptance package arrived by FedEx. I was only able to pull the paperwork halfway out of the envelope when I noticed the new monthly payment amount. I dropped the envelope and started jumping up and down screaming thank you, thank you. I screamed and jumped until I broke out in tears of thankfulness. Tiger came barking into my room because he thought I was being attacked. I called my best friend Jo, I was crying so hard she had to help me get the words out. Every time I tried to tell someone about my blessing, I would start crying.

Not everyone knows what all I have experienced these last couple of years. I’ve had one lady that insisted that I walk away from my home like she and her husband did. I’ve watch several of my neighbors, married couples lose their homes. I’ve had someone say I hope you lose your house for not sharing your money. But the biggest question, how are you able to maintain your home and still do all those activities. My answer, ask God why He has allowed me to keep my home. Because that was one of the questions I asked myself. Why me? I got my answer last year while sitting in church. Bishop TD Jakes answered it, because you are a tither. A tither. That name alone put my mind and heart to rest. I knew at that moment somehow, God was about to turn things around for me. I continually wondered how, tried to figure out how, guessed how it would happen. But never in my wildest imagination did I think He would wipe the past due amount away all at once, not small increments, but all at once. Past due amount gone, monthly payments dropped, and interest rate dropped by 2.25%. Effective August 1, 2012, my mortgage storm came to an end all because I trusted God and believed Him when He said “this too shall pass, just hold on".

The Cholesterol Moved

Have you ever run so hard you could feel something moving on the inside? Well, that’s what it felt like yesterday, I could feel the cholesterol moving out of my heart valves. I completed my 3^rd half marathon, the Hot Mama Virtual Half Marathon held by Moms Run This Town Online Running Group. July 28 was its usual hot day, the morning temperature at 6 am was 79 and the heat index was predicted to be 105-108. My running group set a plan to start running at 6 am, our normal start time on Saturdays, but of course I was running late. When I finally made it to River Legacy Park in Arlington, a 30 minute, non-traffic drive from my house, everyone had already started. I started 10:45 after everyone; I could see the other runners approach the other side of the 1.9 mile loop as I started. I thought to myself, I’ll catch up with someone; someone is going to run out of gas.

I made the first loop at a pace of 11:39, I’m doing good, I thought to myself. My instructions were to enter the path at the second entrance, I did but I didn't see anyone. So I ran back off the trail and ran to the third entrance, I still didn’t see anyone, but decided to proceed anyway. A little about River Legacy Park, it’s heavily wooded area where wildlife like to hangout. The trails are color marked by distance. I was on the blue trail, all alone and I realized I left my mace in my car, dang it. I thought it might be a good idea to pick up my pace. Then a biker passed me, so I thought I need to keep sight of him. Did the best I could but who was I kidding, he was going over 20 mph, I was only averaging in the single digits. But thanks to him, I was able to complete mile 2 and 3 at 11:39 and 11:01 pace.

Usually after mile 3, I walk to regain my energy, but I heard my running buddy Marilyn, saying Lenora you can do 4 miles nonstop, so I kept moving. I decided I would start my run/walk intervals at mile 5, but the Black Eyed Peas song “Let’s Get It Started” came on, so I decided to run through this song. The song took me straight into mile 6. I stopped running to take a drink break and adjust my hydration belt; I looked up to see Sarah aka Speed Angel (pace 7-8) heading back. That’s when I decided I needed to hurry to the turnaround point because I would definitely catch up with the slower pace runners. When I made it to the turnaround, I didn’t see anyone but since I took the wrong path in the beginning, I was ahead of the mile markers, so I turned around to head back. My goal was to slowly run miles 7-9. I heard and saw something moving in the bushes and got scared, then I heard “Hey Girlie” from behind me on the trail, it was Awesome Alice, so I decided to keep up with her. She had me moving faster than I have ever ran and further than I planned to run nonstop, I could actually feel the cholesterol moving out of my heart valves. Alice got me to the end of trail with only 1.5 miles to go. Now I could walk, that’s when the confusion set in, I look at my watch incorrectly and read that I needed to complete 2 miles, so I jumped back on the blue trail, twice before hitting the final loop. Confusion still working because I couldn’t tell which direction to run. There was also another race, so since I kept running in circles, I was confusing their race monitors.

Finally, I told myself to get off the trail and just run to the finish line, but I still was reading my watch incorrectly, so I ran past the finish line to loop around and come back after I reached 13 miles. That’s when it dawned on me to stop and check my watch; it read 12.95, well I’ll be darned. I turned around and headed back, finish line in sight; but no silly me trying to turn off my music, I hit the stop button. I had to re-start my watch to get the remaining .06 to have an official distance. I finished with an official time of 2:32:44, my best time to date. I really am a Hot Mama that runs.

The Invasion of My Body - Part 2

On May 14, I had my follow-up appointment. What I thought was going to be a biopsy, turned into another mammogram. This one was going to be centered on the spots only. Wait spots, what the heck do you mean spots. The rad tech informed me the first mammogram indicated 3 spots, 1 on the right and 2 in the left breast. Now I'm concerned because I'm looking at the X-ray film and I can see the spots before she points them out. That film made them look extra large. All I could think of is do I really want to be a C cup and buy new bras or stay a B cup, just get my girls more firm. I know, a strange thing to think about while staring at lumps in my breast.

This mammogram was a lot more painful because two of the spots were located near the wall of my chest. It took a lot of maneuvering to get my breast in the correct position. Needless to say I was irritated during the whole process. The tech kept saying she was sorry. By the way, if you know you will be talking directly in patients' faces, and you drink coffee, it should be mandatory to use breath mints. Finally, after an hour, it was over. She said stay here while I make sure the film is correct. It had better be correct and it was. The doctor comes in about 15 minutes later and said everything was fine. Cool I thought, I just need to cut back on the caffeine in take.

Well cool until I talked to my sister Crystal. She strongly suggested to me that I needed biopsies because of our family history of breast cancer. My sister, 2 cousins and an aunt. Not to discount my dad had prostate cancer that spreaded through his whole body. So I made my third breast appointment, but this time with a breast surgeon. I'm really getting tired of them playing with my girls.

The Invasion of My Body - Part 1

Some how I knew before they found it. I had a prophetic dream several months ago. April 2, I went for my annual mammogram, annual rape session as I call it along with my annual pap smear. Something was different during this exam, it hurt more than normal.

One week later, the letter came in the mail. I started not to open it because I assumed it was the same as last year. I open it, speed reading through what I thought was a normal paragraph. But the part about further testing stopped my eyes. Okay, did I read that correctly. So I read it again. My honest reaction, aww hell. Not the cutting of my body again. The last time I had a lump was in 1998, a benign lump.

My reaction led me to call my prayer sister Felicia. I said look, they found something during my mammo screening so let's pray to God that its nothing because I'm really enjoying my life. I don't want anything to interfere with my running. Plus I don't have time to keep going to doctor appointments, I finally have my natural hair acting accordingly, no need for chemo. But....if this my destiny, then the breast is coming off, I'm getting a tummy tuck so I can use the fat from stomach to increase my breast to a C cup. Then I can bring bra tops back in style for the 50 and over ladies. Of course Felicia laughs and calls me a fool.

Then I texted my girl Mae, she always provides me with some hidden spiritual knowledge. She said don't stress, we'll go to the doctor together, then afterwards out to eat. We always have great conversations over food and drinks. My most memorable is the first time she saw me actually drink some alcohol. Shocked her so much, she stopped drinking.

I decided not to tell my best friend Jo because she has enough on her plate in regards to her own health. I waited until I had my girls together to tell them. We were having one our mother/daughters talk. Like clock work, they went on to the next subject. I have the best daughters. I told my sister Crystal because I knew she would have something positive, worry free to say.

Anyway, for some reason, which I feel is stupid, I needed permission from my GYN to have the further testing conducted. And that's where the problem began. I have a great GYN doctor, but this current nurse, is an issue. She failed to send the medical order to the breast imaging center. It took a third call from me before she finally responded. I think me letting her know that this is my body and she isn't allowed to drag her feet got her attention. Plus I sounded mean, like don't make me show up in the office voice.

I was okay about the invasion until I felt the lump. I was like hmmm, that's kind of big. I told the Lord I would be really upset if I have to stop running or I couldn't celebrate my 50th birthday in Miami at the Rock N Roll Half. And of course peace covered me. He said this isn't about you. All I could say was okay.

My Second Half Marathon

Today (6/10/12), I ran my second half marathon, the Wounded Warrior Half. This wasn’t a good race for me because I originally wanted to participate, but later changed my mind. I changed my mind because I knew I wasn’t really prepared for this race, lack of training. Since I convinced the other ladies of my running group to participate, it would have been wrong for me not to participate. Even though I finished 71 out of 99 in my age group of 45-49, I did pretty well for my first run in the Texas sun, 2:47:10. My body overheated and I completely lost all energy at mile 10.

Miles 1-6, I ran a 4:1 interval. Miles 7-10, I ran 3:1 interval. After mile 10, I was doing whatever I needed to get to the finish line. My feet and shins hurt, my sunglasses and sun visor began to give me a headache. I couldn’t get the water in my mouth fast enough. I didn’t know if my body was wet from sweating or the water I kept pouring on me.

At mile 11, some man came up behind me and two other women to give us some encouragement to finish. The four of us headed to the finish line together to end this race. Mile 11.5, I said bump this, I’m walking. Then that man showed up again. I finally made it to mile 12, but my body said “I think you need to walk”, so I did. Mile 12.5, I started running again. Thank God for Keisha being right at the finish line, she caught me as I collapsed. I remember Marilyn, Desiree, and Chandra helping me to the shade. They immediately started giving me fluids to drink. Marilyn held onto me the entire time. The plus about this route, no hills and the route shower.

After a few moments, we walked over to the food table to eat. My biggest mistake was drinking Muscle Milk. I knew I didn’t like the chocolate, so I thought I would try the vanilla crème. It tasted good going down, but afterwards it made me extremely sick. So sick, I became nauseous and almost passed out. The curb wasn’t a hard seat and in the right place. I don’t know who put the ice pack on my neck and I don’t know who started praying, but I felt the cool breeze that overcame my body. Now I’m convinced Muscle Milk is the devil’s brew.

I’m also glad I carpooled with Marilyn because there was no way I would have been able to drive home. Once I did get home, I took a luke warm shower and a four hour nap. I would have probably slept longer, but Tiger (my dog) wanted some one on one attention.

Lessons from this half: (1) never run without proper training; I didn’t train for this half; (2) Texas heat is no joke (90^o and 57% humidity); proper and continuous hydration is a must; (3) it’s great to have a cheering squad at the finish line; and (4) I have more determination then I thought. I also gained a huge appreciation for my daughters, they both ran summer track, and now I know how they felt all those years. Now time to focus on the Too Hot Too Handle 15K in July and the Hottest Half in August; and to increase my cross training to build up my endurance.