Tomorrow will be Valentine’s Day and once again this year I’m single. According to society I should be very unhappy and miserable tomorrow, but I’m not.
The last time I was involved with someone on Valentine’s Day, was in 2006, the year the Lord allowed me to go through several, and I mean several storms. The guy I was involved with was in serious trip mode, probably because the woman he was cheating with got tired of being the one on the side. How do I know, I read the text message she sent him. On Valentine’s 2006, he was acting a butt (I’m working on not cussing). He hurt my feelings so much on that day that I made a commitment to myself that I would not allow Valentine’s Day determine my worth or happiness as a woman.
So for the past four years, I have not allowed this day to bother me until for a brief moment this evening. This guy from church and I were pumping our gas and he started boasting about what he’s planning to do for his wife tomorrow. I have to admit, I was a little jealous. What made me jealous, when he starting boasting about the six business suits he bought his wife from Macy’s for her birthday. My heart sank, because I would love to have my own man to shower me with gifts on my birthday.
Oh you thought I would be jealous of his wife’s Valentine’s gifts, nope it was the birthday presents that got me. He was so proud to be able to purchase gifts for his wife. He was acting like a high school boy being able to take his girlfriend to McDonald’s after the game. On my last birthday, my Omaha babe, sang to me expressing how he felt about me at the time. That meant so much to me and I’m sure he doesn’t really know how much. But it was a gift from his heart that’s why it meant so much.
Tomorrow at work will be a very busy day of flower deliveries. Maybe I should stop and buy a rose for my co-workers that are single to help them feel better. Or maybe they feel like I do, bump Valentine’s Day, where’s my birthday present. I feel the same way about Mother’s Day and Christmas. I have the greatest gifts any woman could want for Mother’s Day, grandchildren. I got over expecting gifts for Christmas after having my first child. I realized then, it’s all about your kids, and you don’t matter anymore.
It took me a couple of years after my Dad passed away to really enjoy celebrating my birthday again. On my birthday, he always made me feel as though I was the most important person in his world. That’s why I love my birthdays so much because it’s the day the Lord chose for me, which means it’s mine.
So as everyone is running to the stores looking for the perfect card, gift, and flowers, I sit at home writing this blog. When I finish writing, I’ll start on my homework, complete my workout, say my prayers, and go to sleep. Tomorrow, I’ll wear my red like my co-worker asked and enjoy the day for the ones that Valentine’s Day means so much for them.
I’m sure some couple's relationship may end because he didn’t send flowers for all her co-workers to see or he didn’t buy the right gift. For me, it will be and probably for the rest of my life, just February 14, another day to wear red. It will also always be a reminder that on this day in 1985, I went into labor with my first child and she showed up two days later. Happy Birthday Baby GeGe!
one of the things that i love most about your blog, and our friendship in general, is that it not only makes me think, it fills my heart with peace. some people spend a lifetime thinking that they have missed the mark according to what society thinks. i love that you are right on the mark & know that the thoughts/opinions of others pale in comparison to what God knows about you & what you believe about yourself. the man who deserves to be a part of your life romantically will become apparent in God's time (preaching to myself now); in the meantime, continue to love yourself & show people how a woman of virtue should be treated. love you, sis!
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