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Monday, September 22, 2014

My Peek Into Heaven

Today, September 21, 2014, I walked, because of medical reasons I couldn't run, my 8th half marathon of 2014, in my 3rd state and my 20th half of my life time. My goal was to finish under 4 hours. If I finished within 3 hours, that would have been wonderful. My handicap for this event, 8 weeks post hysterectomy surgery and an eye infection in the right eye.

I started walking with these two older women so I could keep a descent pace. The Maui Marathon started at 5 am because of the Hawaiian heat and humidity. It was a little scary walking in the darkness along the highway.

I didn't start having any issues until mile 10 when my feet started hurting. By mile 12, my back and legs were hurting really bad. I crossed the finish line under 4 hours. I walked around to find my running buddies and to replenish my fluids. Once we found each other, we congratulated each other on finishing vertically.

I felt fine as we headed to the restroom, just really tired. After our restroom break, I started feeling dizzy. So we sat down and discussed getting some food and liquids in me. The dizziness got worse. I remember telling my friends I was about to pass out. When I looked at them, they looked fuzzy and my ears were ringing. I looked at this couple and the woman said I didn't look good. I heard Brenda say stay with me and open your eyes. I heard Cheryl say I'm calling 911. I remember being laid on the ground as everything went white. I felt my bowels about to move on their own, I said God please don't let this be my exit. My thoughts went to my mother and daughters. Gee and NeNe would be upset. Then I was in a very white, peaceful and quiet atmosphere. I was really enjoying being here,  then I heard Brenda say look at me and I heard another woman say talk to me and I heard another woman say her pulse is faint. I also saw a white, fluffy, pulsating cloud raise up off of me. As the cloud rose up, it slowly opened up with four squares in the middle of it, like a window pane. The cloud kept pulsating and rising further into the sky until it disappeared. After the cloud disappeared, I was aware of what was actually going on, I completely passed out. Even though I was drinking a lot of fluids, it still wasn't enough for the Maui humidity.

After what I experienced today, I understand why people that get to peek into heaven and stay if given the choice. I wasn't given a choice, I was sent back. But I do think if given the choice I would have stayed. The feeling was indescribably peaceful.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Labor Day Weekend 2014

Since 2005, I have not like Labor Day weekend. I used to cringe at the thought of this weekend. Labor Day weekend 2004 was the last weekend I sent with my Daddy. Two weeks later he died. It was a moment in my life of mixed emotions. I was thankful for his death because he was suffering from cancer throughout his entire body. I was extremely hurt because the life I had known for almost 40 years was about to change.

Then Labor Day weekend 2010, big brother and only brother passed away unexpectedly from cardiac arrest. One day I was getting a message from him, the next I received a call from my mother that he had been rushed to the hospital. Later that day he was on life support. My younger sister helped my mother make the discussion to remove the ventilator. She explained to us how the machine worked, which helped us to realize he was no longer with us. I'm thankful for her medical knowledge.

Labor Day weekend 2013, one of my older sisters was rushed to the hospital because she was having chest pains. I said to myself oh God not again. As I stood over my sister she said oh God I must really be sick if you're standing here. And she was. She was diagnosed with emphysema. At that moment, I hated Labor Day weekend.

Then my favorite older daughter decided to get married Labor Day weekend 2014. I was so busy focusing on this joyous occasion that I forgot the pain this weekend always brought me. But now and now every year forward, I will have something to celebrate. Once again, my daughter has brought unknown joy to my heart.