Today I missed my NeNe. Not that I want her to come home, but because the mother instinct in me knows something is wrong. I was right, she's homesick missing the time she spends with her sister. My girls have a very tight bond, the kind of bond I wish I had with my sisters. NeNe being away at college will be the longest amount of time my girls have had apart. They are glued at the hip. I'm glad I was able to instilled the value of teaching them to love one another. They have had their differences during NeNe's senior year, but they overcame them. Mainly because I wouldn't allow them to stay angry with one another. I threaten to cut them both off.
Today NeNe needed her big sister, I could hear it in her voice. I'm not sure what was going on, but I knew to strongly suggest NeNe call her big sister. Gee stop everything because she could hear it in her voice, her baby sister is homesick.
So although I'm enjoying my emptynest, my heart is troubled for my baby. So God I need You to send her some comfort as You promised to provide. Thank You Lord for not delaying.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
It Feels Great..
Today several people asked me how it felt being alone in my home. I said great. One of my childhood friends said she would give me two weeks before it really hits me. I doubt it. Especially how Ms. NeNe acted over the phone this morning. She may be out of the house, but I still put the butter on her bread. Some were surprised that I didn't cry when I left her on campus. Heck it surprised me too. Then again it shouldn't, I was raised in a 3 bedroom house with one bathroom, 3 sisters, 1 brother, and my Mom. My oldest sister would visit on occasions (she was lucky, she got to live with Grandma and Grandpa), so that would increase the number. On any given occasion someone or somebodies were arguing or fighting. I don't have those issues anymore.
Now my granddaughter Skye is trying her best to move in with me. She decided to play Ali today at school. The teacher wanted to spank her, but instead she asked for someone to come get her from school. Good thing I rode the express bus to work. Skye will not be living with me, her parents will have to solve this issue. I love her dearly, but I'm not that type of grandmother. I will not be replacing bodies in this house. I've even decided not to get a roommate, I'll just find a second job to pay for my fun activities. At this point I don't even want male company over, I'm truly enjoying my space.
So anyone thinking I will not adjust well, WRONG!!! I'm adjusting, matter of fact, I started adjusting in 2007. I started working on my agenda I have for myself. I wanted to start blogging, I'm doing it now. I wanted to change my eating habits, I'm slowly adjusting. I was too tired to go to the rec center today or workout to my DVDs, but I'll handle up on it tomorrow. I'm working on my bedtime schedule, if it's not done by 9:30 pm, central time, it won't get done. I might have to delay school until next semester due to some unforeseen circumstances, but I'm still trying to start by next week. I didn't do well on the cussing because of NeNe, she didn't handle business as she promised. Although I think she realized today, Moma can't drop everything and run up to the school anymore.
James, NeNe's dad, complimented me today (something he has been doing a lot lately) on how well I have always handled business for her, but now it's time to back off. He's right, but he must also remember I've been doing this for all of her life, he hasn't. I do have to say in his defense, what he has done in the last couple of weeks has left my mouth wide open. He stepped up to the plate to be a better father and man to his daughter. He's showing her that a real man that loves you, will take action and provide for your needs. He won't just talk about, he will be about it. Hmmm, bet I have surprised some of friends, I'm saying something nice about James instead of what I was calling him around prom time and graduation. Anyway, he's planting a positive seed in NeNe. I'm glad I taught my daughters to love their dads unconditionally. They can get mad at them, but they will respect and honor them for their position.
Okay, I'm tired, the 8 states trip in 5 days is getting to me, I can't hang like I use to.
Now my granddaughter Skye is trying her best to move in with me. She decided to play Ali today at school. The teacher wanted to spank her, but instead she asked for someone to come get her from school. Good thing I rode the express bus to work. Skye will not be living with me, her parents will have to solve this issue. I love her dearly, but I'm not that type of grandmother. I will not be replacing bodies in this house. I've even decided not to get a roommate, I'll just find a second job to pay for my fun activities. At this point I don't even want male company over, I'm truly enjoying my space.
So anyone thinking I will not adjust well, WRONG!!! I'm adjusting, matter of fact, I started adjusting in 2007. I started working on my agenda I have for myself. I wanted to start blogging, I'm doing it now. I wanted to change my eating habits, I'm slowly adjusting. I was too tired to go to the rec center today or workout to my DVDs, but I'll handle up on it tomorrow. I'm working on my bedtime schedule, if it's not done by 9:30 pm, central time, it won't get done. I might have to delay school until next semester due to some unforeseen circumstances, but I'm still trying to start by next week. I didn't do well on the cussing because of NeNe, she didn't handle business as she promised. Although I think she realized today, Moma can't drop everything and run up to the school anymore.
James, NeNe's dad, complimented me today (something he has been doing a lot lately) on how well I have always handled business for her, but now it's time to back off. He's right, but he must also remember I've been doing this for all of her life, he hasn't. I do have to say in his defense, what he has done in the last couple of weeks has left my mouth wide open. He stepped up to the plate to be a better father and man to his daughter. He's showing her that a real man that loves you, will take action and provide for your needs. He won't just talk about, he will be about it. Hmmm, bet I have surprised some of friends, I'm saying something nice about James instead of what I was calling him around prom time and graduation. Anyway, he's planting a positive seed in NeNe. I'm glad I taught my daughters to love their dads unconditionally. They can get mad at them, but they will respect and honor them for their position.
Okay, I'm tired, the 8 states trip in 5 days is getting to me, I can't hang like I use to.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
My First Day Alone at Home
August 17, 2010
Today was my first complete day at home by myself. Last Thursday, I drove my baby, NeNe to college in Virginia. 2769.5 miles, 8 states, and 5 days on the road, just so I could experience having my home to myself. When I reach the Texas border last night, my older daughter Gee called to let me know she and her girls were at my home waiting on me. I thought, for what, go home. Well they went home because Gee didn't want to wait the 3 hours for me to arrival. YAY!!
I've been planning and anticipating my emptynest since August 2007. I really can't remember what I was doing, but I read something and this warm, peaceful feeling came over me. You see, I've been a single parent for 25 years. The one year I was married to the "Nightmare" doesn't count. We married in January, he started acting crazy in May, his spawn of satan daughter came in June, we, my girls and I, moved out in August. See I told you it didn't count. Anyway back to me. I have lived with someone all of my life, 47-3/4 years. I have been a daughter, sister, aunt, live-in girlfriend, and mother.
Now that NeNe is gone off to college I will be able to find my deodorant, with the lid intact, my lotions, perfumes, earrings, hair combs and brushes (by the way, while we were unpacking her items, she swiped my latest hair brush), I will know when I'm down to the last bar of soap, I will not get a surprise when I walk into the pantry and there isn't any toilet paper (UUGGGHHH), I won't hear giggling throughout the night, no more surprise slumber parties, there will be shampoo, there will be shampoo (had to say it twice), etc. I could list things for days.
A lot of people think I will be very lonely with my daughters and/or granddaughters living with me, but not true. I have enjoyed every single moment of motherhood, the good, the bad, and those moments when I knew for sure my girls were not going to make it to their 18th birthdays. I thank God for allowing me to love myself enough to want to be around myself, by myself.
I have to admit that I became very emotional at work last Wednesday because I was overwhelmed by the idea of being blessed to send my child off to college. I was sitting at my desk crying. During that time not one person walked by my desk, so I was able to enjoy my emotional high. I texted NeNe and Gee that I was crying. NeNe replied "Oh, don't cry, it'll be alright...but right now I need you to help me with my clothes because I can't get them in the suitcases." Gee replied, "Well I was just getting ready to ask you to say a prayer for my job interview." My girls, oops, young ladies, nope my girls.
So why did I decide to start a blog? I'm not sure. But here I am sitting and writing. I'm not sure how often I'll post something, I just know it will cover my emptynest. And for those of you that keep saying it would be funny if I get pregnant, that stuff isn't funny. Besides, I decided to abstaining from sex until marriage. I'm wife material not girlfriend or sideline material. I'm done giving away free samples.
Today was my first complete day at home by myself. Last Thursday, I drove my baby, NeNe to college in Virginia. 2769.5 miles, 8 states, and 5 days on the road, just so I could experience having my home to myself. When I reach the Texas border last night, my older daughter Gee called to let me know she and her girls were at my home waiting on me. I thought, for what, go home. Well they went home because Gee didn't want to wait the 3 hours for me to arrival. YAY!!
I've been planning and anticipating my emptynest since August 2007. I really can't remember what I was doing, but I read something and this warm, peaceful feeling came over me. You see, I've been a single parent for 25 years. The one year I was married to the "Nightmare" doesn't count. We married in January, he started acting crazy in May, his spawn of satan daughter came in June, we, my girls and I, moved out in August. See I told you it didn't count. Anyway back to me. I have lived with someone all of my life, 47-3/4 years. I have been a daughter, sister, aunt, live-in girlfriend, and mother.
Now that NeNe is gone off to college I will be able to find my deodorant, with the lid intact, my lotions, perfumes, earrings, hair combs and brushes (by the way, while we were unpacking her items, she swiped my latest hair brush), I will know when I'm down to the last bar of soap, I will not get a surprise when I walk into the pantry and there isn't any toilet paper (UUGGGHHH), I won't hear giggling throughout the night, no more surprise slumber parties, there will be shampoo, there will be shampoo (had to say it twice), etc. I could list things for days.
A lot of people think I will be very lonely with my daughters and/or granddaughters living with me, but not true. I have enjoyed every single moment of motherhood, the good, the bad, and those moments when I knew for sure my girls were not going to make it to their 18th birthdays. I thank God for allowing me to love myself enough to want to be around myself, by myself.
I have to admit that I became very emotional at work last Wednesday because I was overwhelmed by the idea of being blessed to send my child off to college. I was sitting at my desk crying. During that time not one person walked by my desk, so I was able to enjoy my emotional high. I texted NeNe and Gee that I was crying. NeNe replied "Oh, don't cry, it'll be alright...but right now I need you to help me with my clothes because I can't get them in the suitcases." Gee replied, "Well I was just getting ready to ask you to say a prayer for my job interview." My girls, oops, young ladies, nope my girls.
So why did I decide to start a blog? I'm not sure. But here I am sitting and writing. I'm not sure how often I'll post something, I just know it will cover my emptynest. And for those of you that keep saying it would be funny if I get pregnant, that stuff isn't funny. Besides, I decided to abstaining from sex until marriage. I'm wife material not girlfriend or sideline material. I'm done giving away free samples.
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