My big brother peeked into Heaven and liked what he saw and decided to stay. That’s how I’m going to remember Saturday, September 4, 2010. The day my Mom made the difficult decision to remove my brother from life support. We, his five sisters, my Mom, my Aunt Chris, my cousin Sheila, my nephews Marcus and Symieon, and my brother-in-law Vernon watched as Runge slowly drifted off to be with the Lord. I wasn’t in the room when all the equipment and tubes were removed from him, but my brave sister Phyllis was. We each stood by the bed and held on to him, I was still praying for a miracle because I could still feel his heart beat in his right hand. Then it slowly faded away. I place my fingers on his wrist pulse and Cynthia placed her fingers on his neck pulse. Soon I couldn’t feel his wrist pulse any longer. Seconds later Cynthia couldn’t feel his neck pulse. Two nurses checked for his heart beat, but it too was gone. The last time I looked at the clock was 12:11 p.m. Runge entered into the presence of the Lord with his family by his side weeping. We his sisters had loss our brother and our Mother had loss her son, her child, the baby she carried in her womb. Our pain will never compare to hers. We each felt we were his only sister because that’s how he treated us.
My big brother was the second great man of my life to die. Labor Day weekend and September will never be the same for me. In 2004, Labor Day weekend was the last time I spent with my Dad. He died September 18. This past Labor Day weekend, I spent my big brother’s last moments by his side in Bergen Mercy Hospital ICU. I didn’t see my Dad die, but I felt it. I watched my big brother peacefully depart from us. Although I went to Omaha believing in a miracle, I saw the look on Runge’s face and knew he liked what he was seeing In my eyes, he features had transformed into my Dad’s features. I didn’t realize how much the two of them looked alike. When I first arrived at the hospital early Friday morning, I came around the corner of his room and said “damn he looks like Daddy”. I picked up his hand and said “I know you hear me and I know you like what you are seeing, but I need you to come back and wake up”. His hand flinched around my hand quickly, which gave me hope that a miracle was about to happen. But later that day, his look became more peaceful. I knew that even though I came to Omaha for a miracle, I would be attending my big brother’s funeral.
It was a difficult time for my Mom; she would be the person to make the final decision about her child’s life. A decision we all backed her on. The last voice message my big brother left me he said every morning he wakes up is a blessing. Wednesday was the last morning Runge would wake up. In his medically induced coma, he laid peacefully in his hospital bed like he was getting the best sleep he had ever had. As the doctors told my Mom the different things that they could do to prolong his life, I asked her to please do not allow them to do that to him. So she agreed that on Saturday she would allow them to remove him from life support. And she made another very difficult decision to DNR, Do Not Resuscitate. My Mom aged at that moment.
My sister Phyllis was on vacation and had originally said she wasn’t coming back to see her brother in the hospital hooked up to machines. Well Runge sent a humming bird to her. This humming kept landing on her shoulder every time she went outside. She said each time it appeared out of nowhere and would land her shoulder. Finally, she changed her flight and came back to Omaha Friday evening. She spent the night with Runge as his protector from the medical staff. He was her big brother too. She said her only mission for coming back early was to get her brother removed from life support because that is not how he would want to live his life.
My sister Crystal knew from her medical experience what was about to happen, so she had already started calling around to get information for Runge’s funeral service. Side note, just because you are the top black owned mortuary in Omaha, NE doesn’t mean you have the right to be rude to people. On Saturday, Crystal explained to my Mom what each machine was doing and what each medicine was doing, prolonging the life of her child that was already gone. Runge was on 100% oxygen. So Moma said okay disconnect my son but not in front of me, I don’t want to see my child die. Phyllis spoke up and said she would stay the entire time and she did.
My sister Cynthia went into another world, she was losing her baby brother and she felt the out of towners, me and Crystal, were making all the decisions. We were just following our Mother’s direction. My nephew Marcus may have matured some while watching his uncle slowly slip away from us. Marcus it was like he was glued to my Mother’s side. When she had one of her anxiety attacks, he laid at her feet until she calmed down. She slept in the chair, he slept on the floor by her feet. His Granny was hurting and he was trying to comfort her. His mother was in pain and he was trying to comfort her also.
We all were hurting, we all lost a good man. Runge was a good man with a bad heart that was a good heart. He showed love and kindness to everyone. The evidence showed by the people that called or came by the house. His death shocked all his friends, they all kept saying I just talked to him or just show him. Runge did several acts of random kindness in the weeks prior to his death. He gave away money or bought stuff for random people for no particular reason. His last message to me was that he wanted to send my daughters something and needed their addresses. He never got a chance to what he wanted to do. It did our hearts good to know so many people cared for our brother.
We found lots of laughter during our time of grief. We couldn’t find anyone to say anything bad about Runge, so I did. He’s the reason I don’t like people touching my food or plate or standing over me while I eat. When we were young kids, he used to take my food because I ate too slow. If he wanted my cereal, he would stick his spoon in my bowl, which would upset me, cause me to stop eating, and he would take my cereal and finish it. Crystal doesn’t like wrestling because he used to practice the different moves on her. He cut up one of my sister Marilyn’s shirts because he thought it was too ugly for her to wear. He always ate up all the leftovers, which left us left out. But if we ever needed him, he was there.
He was the one that cleaned out my Dad’s house after his death. As painful as it was for him, he carried out my Dad’s request to sell everything his children didn’t want. When I was leaving my nightmare marriage, he offered to put a whooping on that nightmare husband. One of my ex-boyfriends told me that Runge had kind of threaten him about how he was treating me. When I moved to Dallas, he loaded up the moving truck. When I had my foot surgery, he was willing to come take care of me or send my sister Cynthia to take care of me. Runge was just a kind hearted person. All his friends said he was always so mellow and kind, never about any mess or confusion.
We had Runge’s funeral Thursday, September 9. We planned for a small service, his friends and our friends packed the chapel. We picked 4 songs that described Runge, Never Would Have Made It, He Saw the Best in Me, Spirit In the Sky, and Oh Happy Day. Runge never would have made it into Heaven if he didn’t have his own personal relationship with God. Like he told me one day, his relationship with God may not be like mine, but he has one. Runge saw the best in his sisters and everyone else. He didn’t judge or condemn people. His spirit is in the sky now, free from all the medicine and pain from life. It was a happy day in Heaven when he entered in.
Runge requested to be cremated. I was selected to sprinkle his ashes in Mississippi because all this year his goal was to go to Mississippi and check on our Dad’s grave. He’s finally going to get there, it may not be how he wanted, but he will be there permanently. I thought I would feel strange with his ashes but I don’t, he was my brother. I’m not sure how I’ll feel after I open the box and see his ashes. I know I will shed a lot of tears because my big brother peeked into Heaven, liked what he saw and decided to stay.
