Today has not been a day I want to remember. For the last couple of nights, I have not been able to sleep well. It wasn’t that kind of “God is trying to tell you something”; it was something is about to happen but what. Well the but what happened, my big brother and only brother collapsed at a local gas station in Omaha. Two unknown women found him and notified emergency services. One of the ladies, bless her heart, drove my Mom’s car to her.
Now it’s a waiting game, my big brother, Runge (it’s German), is laying in ICU unconscious. I know he’s peeking into Heaven and deciding if he wants to return to us. The selfish me wants him to return to us, but the spiritual me is saying big brother have fun with our Heavenly Father. And if you can see Daddy give him a huge hug and kiss for me.
My big brother is the third child out of six. He’s blessed to have five sisters, so you can imagine what his life has been like. He’s the person responsible for turning me into a tomboy. He figured since his parents didn’t give him a brother, he would make one. I enjoyed my status as his little tomboy sister. I even used to run around outside with my shirt off to be like him. My big brother is responsible for my love for football. When we played kill the man football, that’s where the kid that got the ball had to make it to the field goal before getting tackled. If tackled, everyone on the opposing team was allowed to pile up on that kid. The first couple of times I got tackled, my big brother wouldn’t let me cry. He would threaten me by saying I couldn’t play with him anymore because he don’t play with girls. Little did he know he was preparing me for real life.
I’ve been crying all day since I received the news from my mother. My heart aches for her because he has been taking care of her since her illness in December 2008. He may not do a perfect job of it, but he is there for her. I can hear and feel her pain. Runge is her only son, her true baby.
My big brother spent seven years of his life in the army. He left us in Omaha at age 17 full of life. He return to us at age 24 someone total opposite. I don’t know what happened to him, I just know he came back a different person. Did I love him even less? Not one bit, he’s my big brother.
He called me Monday while I was in class. He left me his usual message, I love you sis. I still have it saved as my reminder to call him back. I remember a couple of weeks ago he called to tell me off but got my voicemail, so he left the message on there. I didn’t have a clue what he was talking about. Later when we spoke, he apologized. I told him cool but I don’t know what I did. He explained, we talked about it, but I still hadn’t did anything. Guess he was making up for the times I did or will do something wrong.
My big brother has no known children. He thought about marriage once that I know of but the chick broke his heart. I still remember him calling our mom in the middle of the night crying. From that point on, he didn’t allow another woman to hurt him. He had several lady friends, but he always kept them at a distance.
I really need my big brother to stop peeking into Heaven because I know he is going to really like it there. I know I’m being selfish, but it’s strictly out of love.
I had to tell my girls what is going on with their uncle. Gee cried, NeNe didn’t. But NeNe did offer to transfer schools to Nebraska so she could take care of her Granny and uncle. That made my heart melt. I really need my big brother to stop peeking into Heaven and wake up.
My big brother has no earthly possessions. He fits the saying “don’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out”, but he is so happy. He has no possessions because he doesn’t want them. I think he could teach some Christians a thing or two about being content. Wait he has one possession, a cell phone and he only has that for our mother’s sake.
If by chance my big brother decides he wants to stay in the presence of the Lord, I will be okay. I didn’t miss an opportunity to let him know how I felt about him and he never had to guess. He had that relationship with all of his sisters, nephews, and nieces. We knew where we stood with him. We all got I love you after the end of all our conversations. Whenever it was time for us to return to Texas from our visits, he would always say I love you sis and nieces.
I really, really truly duly need my big brother to stop peeking into Heaven.
No comments:
Post a Comment