Some how I knew before they found it. I had a prophetic dream several months ago. April 2, I went for my annual mammogram, annual rape session as I call it along with my annual pap smear. Something was different during this exam, it hurt more than normal.
One week later, the letter came in the mail. I started not to open it because I assumed it was the same as last year. I open it, speed reading through what I thought was a normal paragraph. But the part about further testing stopped my eyes. Okay, did I read that correctly. So I read it again. My honest reaction, aww hell. Not the cutting of my body again. The last time I had a lump was in 1998, a benign lump.
My reaction led me to call my prayer sister Felicia. I said look, they found something during my mammo screening so let's pray to God that its nothing because I'm really enjoying my life. I don't want anything to interfere with my running. Plus I don't have time to keep going to doctor appointments, I finally have my natural hair acting accordingly, no need for chemo. But....if this my destiny, then the breast is coming off, I'm getting a tummy tuck so I can use the fat from stomach to increase my breast to a C cup. Then I can bring bra tops back in style for the 50 and over ladies. Of course Felicia laughs and calls me a fool.
Then I texted my girl Mae, she always provides me with some hidden spiritual knowledge. She said don't stress, we'll go to the doctor together, then afterwards out to eat. We always have great conversations over food and drinks. My most memorable is the first time she saw me actually drink some alcohol. Shocked her so much, she stopped drinking.
I decided not to tell my best friend Jo because she has enough on her plate in regards to her own health. I waited until I had my girls together to tell them. We were having one our mother/daughters talk. Like clock work, they went on to the next subject. I have the best daughters. I told my sister Crystal because I knew she would have something positive, worry free to say.
Anyway, for some reason, which I feel is stupid, I needed permission from my GYN to have the further testing conducted. And that's where the problem began. I have a great GYN doctor, but this current nurse, is an issue. She failed to send the medical order to the breast imaging center. It took a third call from me before she finally responded. I think me letting her know that this is my body and she isn't allowed to drag her feet got her attention. Plus I sounded mean, like don't make me show up in the office voice.
I was okay about the invasion until I felt the lump. I was like hmmm, that's kind of big. I told the Lord I would be really upset if I have to stop running or I couldn't celebrate my 50th birthday in Miami at the Rock N Roll Half. And of course peace covered me. He said this isn't about you. All I could say was okay.
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